Democracy ...an insult to the few but felt by the many

I touched lightly on the flaws of democracy on a post during the summer and wanted to write a little more about it. The trouble is such views can sound patronising but democracy can be a very dangerous this with the gullibility of a certain portion of the masses. Plato once famously insisted that the ideal society should be run by philosophers. Just as the master of a ship must be an expert in the craft of navigation, so too the master of the good society must be an expert in the craft of good governance. And just as you shouldn’t allow any old Tom, Dick or Sturgeon to become the master of a ship, so you shouldn’t give them mastery over a society either. That is Plato’s case against democracy. Governance requires experts so step up to the mark Philosophers. It’s of my opinion Brexit result was the consequence of giving too much powers to the wrong sort of people. The reason we have representative democracy rather than direct democracy, is so that the various institutions of government are able to ameliorate (ameliorate …do you like that word? Used my online thesaurus for that one) the fickleness and ignorance of the ordinary voter. “Sometimes he drinks heavily while listening to the flute,” said (well sneered) Plato at this ordinary voter. You could these days say “drinking Tesco wine whilst reading the Daily Mail and watching loose woman on the telly” Asking the opinions of such people is bound to cause trouble. They are not bright enough (sorry, but its true) to know when they are being manipulated (which is so easy now with fake news and all its trimmings) and not expert enough to know what’s best for them so “clever” people should have more of a say than others in how this country is run. My social media “friends” will certainly remember frustrations we shared or pitted against each other during the Scottish indy referendum. John Stuart Mill was another more recent (well….the 1800s recent) philosopher who believed something similar to the great Plato. In 1859 he published his Thoughts on Parliamentary Reform (you can buy this on Amazon but its heavy going and feels dated) , in which he proposed a voting system heavily weighted towards the better educated. “If every ordinary unskilled labourer had one vote … a member of any profession requiring a long, accurate and systematic mental cultivation – a lawyer, a physician or surgeon, a clergyman of any denomination (personally I don’t agree with the Clergy getting any votes), a literary man, an artist, a public functionary … ought to have six, a British Telecom TSO engineer should be at the top of the tree with eight” he wrote (well OK, I added that last part in about a BT engineer, called it a writers liberty but you get the idea). When stated this baldly, it is surely obvious that the desire to maintain so-called political expertise is actually a thinly disguised attempt to entrench the interests of an educated middle class. How we all lambasted these Eton Tories and once thought Labour represented the common man (and the Scottish Nationalists are a party of protest unable to govern, a belief I still hold and feel vindicated upon after 10 years of their (mis)rule). Labour (under Corbyn) for me now, have sold out their “working class values” since they sold their soul in an alliance with The Muslim Brotherhood (victims of taqiyya or just power hungry at any cost?) , they should hang their heads in shame and we should all be protesting because for all democracy’s flaws its better than theocracy which a stealth sharia law implemented would install of these shores….but I am diverging here and have wrote about this on prior posts.

Simply why we Must!!

As we grow older, we give more value on stability because stability promises us security. But security does not develop us, the problems we overcome finding security or creating it does. You can do that only by exploring into the unknown, where things are not so familiar and you must think outside of your daily pattern. And that’s how you develop new aspects of your character Remember when we were still kids and were scared of trying new things? By doing the thing we were scared of, we felt the most alive. By doing the same routine every day we are living a mechanical existence. Our brain use the same neurons and neural pathways. The countless other neural pathways and potential neural connections stay dormant, all these other ways of seeing the world are unused. But once you go to an unfamiliar territory to explore, your mind fully activates and you see things with a greater clarity. By trying new things wehave never done before, it’s normal to feel a little afraid and have anxiety. That’s a healthy response to new situations. However, being strong enough to not let those emotions decide for you is what builds our confidence. Amazing things start to happen once we break out of our comfort zone. Because they’re new, they’ll appear weird, crazy and epic. These things are full with details and emotions. They shape great stories and interesting conversations with people. People would always like to hear about your new adventure and the crazy things you encountered along the way. Even if you are really bad at telling stories, just sharing your memories from outside of your comfort zone makes you a lot more interesting person than anyone who rarely escapes their comfort zone. When we spread our wings to fly, we see different communities and worlds that exist. we get to learn from them. We can discover new things. There are a lot of sports, activities, foods, books, events and music to experience. There are countless places and people to get to know. Learn to dance the Salsa even if its completely outside your comfort zone, in fact if it is then all the better, travel to another country and get lost then find the path again....you will also find yourself. There are categories we can explore that we never even know are out there. The world is a much bigger place than we can ever imagine....never stop trying new things....new adventure......simply because we must!!!!!

Jack

I miss the old guy so much. Jack Dormer, my old boxing coach. They just don’t make men like this anymore. He was a gentleman, never swore in front of a lady, never boasted and no one could consider him a vain man, he had done plenty to be proud of but he was so humble. He was like a second father to me and a lot of the lads at the gym. He looked after us all, not just in preparation for the ring but outside too, he spoke up for a lot of the kids when they got into trouble. Jackie has a reputation as a quiet and polite man when he was young, not a drinker, kept himself to himself, trained hard and was a fine diplomat for the sport of boxing. I have written in this blog about Gentleman Jack "Rockfist" Dormer before so I won't write too much here about his again. Just saw a few photos which brought back some nice memories of this Gentleman again.

I heard the story about another boxer who lived near Stirling at the Raploch. Ginger Lamont, a polar opposite of Jackie. Ginger was loud and brash, a bully and liked a drink. He never liked the recognition Jackie was getting and every time Jackie walked by Ginger’s house he would shout out a challenge to come in his garage for a “sparring” session. Of course Ginger was looking to chin Jackie with a sucker punch and increase his profile in doing so. As the story goes one evening Jackie accepted and when Ginger attempted a liberty blow Jackie countered and knocked the bold Ginger clean out, unlaced his gloves and went home. This is just one of the many stories I have heard about this beautiful man. Never from his lips but from sources, reliable sources such as my mum who lived around Stirling at the time. As a nurse she also remembers a drunken violent Ginger Lamont during his last days in a mental hospital (Bellsdyke), a jaw broken so many times his mouth would not shut proper. She also recalls Jackie, a gentleman, a quiet man always immaculately dressed and always polite.

Jackie died a few years back, the last time I saw him was in ASDA near the checkouts. He was so proud of these little cards he had printed with his name saying he was a trainer. I introduced him to my son Sam who has very young at the time. Sam never met my Dad, whom he is named after. My dad passed away many years before little Sam was born. It’s a lovely though that that Sam did get to me another influential man in my life, the legend which was Jackie Dormer. One of the last true humble warriors of the fight game. These days we see plenty loud mouth, tattooed, knuckle draggers who talk a good fight. If attitude reflected ability then these people would be so dangerous, but no…they are just pumped up white-collar “pillow fighters” would are not fit enough to lace on Jack’s gloves. How I miss sitting on the bench with a towel across my shoulders listening to Jackie’s “gospel”, the meals in the fancy restaurants we were treated to after the wine and dine shows, sitting there with cuts and bruises and stinking of deep heat, amongst tables with affluent rich business men but we enthralled with this old man’s stories and each treated like winners by him even if we fought and lost that evening. Jack Dormer, one of life’s true gentlemen.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Below is a poem by Dylan Thomas, a Welsh Poet. Its called... Do not go gentle into that good night. The essence of this poem is struggling to survive; pressing on to live as long as you can in the face of death, even if it means suffering. People who know me well and how I support euthanasia and the works of Dignitas may think its a strange choice of a poem but they are missing the point. Its not about the "finally suffering" of loved one as many of us unfortunately have experienced, I see it as not getting old gracefully, as I grow older I am getting conscious that there is so much I still need to do, places to see, things to learn....so much more. Pipe and slippers are long way off yet, we are only as old as be feel and at 45 I still have the passion of a teenager but now with the wisdom of age, although sometimes we need to tuck our "wariness" away and seek out adventure, create the memories we desire. I see this poem as a strong invocation for us to live boldly and to fight, we have one shot at this life so make it count....no regrets ... Non, je ne regrette rien as the song goes

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

The Lessons Learnt from The Old Man and the Sea.

I am a huge fan of Ernest Hemmingway, at least as long as I can remember. I especially love his book “The Old Man and the Sea” based in Cuba,there is just something special about this book that compels it to be read then re-read again. There is a certain echo of Hemmingway in that book, manliness. As Hemmingway said once… “A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”, and this is so true and something I believe we must always reflect upon. (now although I use the term “man” in this post, but these lessons are not gender specific) Success is all too often assumed to be the indicator of the value of a man. But success, in and of itself, merely speaks to a particular status and may have nothing to do with the journey that the man took to get there, or whether or not he retained his integrity along the way. I, myself have been very blessed in life, I have a good secure career, I had the most wonderful childhood to reflect upon due to having the very best parents and brother during that time, I have my heart opened by having the most precious son who although I have not seen in years I am still so proud of and love him. I have travelled and ticked off many boxes already on my bucket list but what I am most proud of is that I have retained my integrity to get at this point where I am just now, I have nothing to prove to anyone and have proven all I need to myself. I have never stepped on anyone, lied to or used anyone and I have always respected and loved my family to the very end. These are the values that pay off, no matter what shit life kicks up at you, if you can live with yourself then you have the strength to overcome. There is something about old Santiago’s life in this book which I can relate to…In the book Santiago is an old, experienced fisherman who hasn’t brought in a catch for months. On the 85th day of this dry spell, he heads far out into the Gulf of Mexico where he hooks a giant marlin. Unable to pull the fish into his skiff, he holds onto the line for three days before killing it with a harpoon. After lashing the fish to his boat, Santiago heads home with his hard-won prize. But along the way, sharks reduce the fish to bones, and the old man returns to port as he left…empty-handed. The universal truths of a man’s existence within this world are the pride, respect, tenacity, and dreams which fuel a man in his quest to thrive in the face of struggle, these are universal truths we must always consider. There are so many lessons to take from this book, another for example is from the passage.. ““He was shivering with the morning cold. But he knew he would shiver himself warm and that soon he would be rowing.”…this is that a man bears pain and hardship without complaint. In the context of the book Santiago is presented with the greatest challenge of his life. It comes in the form of an eighteen-foot marlin and makes for a long, long battle that spans days. Near the edge of his exhaustion, Santiago’s hand is cut deeply and cramps up “as tight as the gripped claws of an eagle.” He washes the cut in the salt water and lets it dry and warm in the sun. But the hand refuses him and he is forced to work with his right hand alone, against the powerful fish that is two feet longer than his own skiff. Drained, Santiago “settles against the wood” and simply “takes his suffering as it comes. He is comfortable but suffering, although he does not admit the suffering at all.” Now reflect upon this in our lifes!!! The bitching we hear in the work place, in the gym….all the excuses. Let’s face facts here, our problems are minor, we live in the first world and are spoilt, we suffer for this, when I go traveling I prefer to get off the beaten track and meet the real people, in fact I make a point of it, with no airs or graces these people accept you more for the person you are, if you mix with people who don’t have much but appreciate life then it will (can) rub off on you. When I use to box I preferred the bouts in Miners Welfare clubs than the wine and dine events in fancy hotels which had these fat drunken shits dressed up and shouting for blood, so called pillars and businessmen who have never had to physically fight baying for blood and flashing there richness and trophy wives or “partners for the evening”. Observing such scum brings me to another lesson which is that a man does not boast. From the novel Manolin asks Santiago , “Who is the greatest manager, really, Luque or Mike Gonzalez?” “I think they are equal.” Answers the old man “And the best fisherman is you.” “No. I know others better.”….such a lovely exchange of words. The quality of a man is best seen through his actions, and developing humility is a key ingredient in letting our actions do the talking for us. Santiago is given plenty opportunity to boast during a conversation with his young friend, Manolin, but he does not. Boasting only briefly satisfies insecurity. It should leave no lasting impression on the crowd who hears.Some people will mistake mild manners, a soft voice and politeness as insecurities, people will underestimate your strengths but never fear this, life's real fighters don't need snarl, growl or pride themselfs strutting like peacocks, again referring to the fight game, a high held chin is a sure target for a knockout, keep your chin down and ride the punches out. My mum use to always tell me that an empty drum (barrow) always makes the most noise and how true, this is something I have witnessed may times, more consciously with the boxing and other work but also observed through many aspects in this life. These paper tigers making fists in photos, big fighting talk and their hard man strutting, how foolish they look, how easy they fall. If there is one lesson people should take away from this book, then its that a man’s legacy comes from maintaining his integrity. Legacy will endure far beyond any monetary gain. Every man has sharks that circle him; they gather when they smell the blood of real achievement. If you are a good person there is always people out there who wants to take advantage of it to their favour. Always be yourself, most people will judge you on how they want you to fit into their narrative, don’t be disheartened, never play your hand unless you are forced too, it’s always better to be underestimated than overestimated. Follow the examples of Hemmingway (apart from his brashness and heavy drinking that is and only throw fists in defence) seek out experiences, don’t do holidays, do adventures, cocktails on the beach, lying beside the pool on an all-inclusive and golf resorts can wait until your too old to tango and it’s when you return home you can rest with the mundane day to day working life but also find adventures in life too, learn to box, dance the salsa, hang out with people who know true happiness, read these books you have never touched on your book shelf but always keep your integrity, nothing at the expense of someone else, always be polite, wear your heart on your sleeve and smile, don’t growl…life is too short, ask Santiago, A man doesn’t quit.

My Son's Birthday

Today my son Sam turned 14 years old.
On the 5th of November 2003 just after 3pm the most important person in my life was born.
After being born, due to him being extremely premature he was whisked away to the neonatal ward, once settled there I was allowed to visit him, I tenderly placed my hand in his incubator and he grabbed a hold of my finger, words will never give justice to how I felt.

A new level of emotions opened up to me then when I had my son in this world.
A joy, a love, a pride but then also a fear, I knew then and know now, when you have someone in this world that you love unconditionally with all your heart you now have a vulnerability, an Achilles heel, a raised chin which you can never protect and if someone can’t hurt you direct they will use who you most love to get at you.

 I have not seen Sam for near 3 years now, I have fought exhaustedly for near 5 years to have a relationship with my son, I have never given up, how can it be possible to give up on someone you love?
Not as long as I have a breath in my body shall I give up on my son. I can’t go into details about this struggle, firstly because its ongoing and a very antiquated family court system don’t not look kindly on publishing its failures, secondly I refuse to criticise someone as it I can’t change who is Sam’s family, Sam will read this blog one day as the internet makes the world a small place, and I have no intentions to influence his mind.

 For someone to attempt to cut away half of a child’s roots is unforgivable, I refuse to follow suit out of spite as this would potentially damage my son more, I am not a religious person my there seems to be a balance in this universe and Karma seems to work, Sam won’t be a child for ever, it’s easy to manipulate a child but as they grow they start to wonder, they get curious and the truth always finds a way to surface.

From my point there is two ways I could go as my heart hurts missing my son, I could go down the weak road, feel sorry for myself, get depressed and self-destruct or I could become a stronger person, build my life, progress in my career and be the support and stability for when my son comes back into my life either still as a child or an adult as after such abuse from others he will need a rock and I will be there for him, unconditionally,I have chosen this latter path. I will never bad mouth anyone to him but the papers and reports will be available for him to decide himself.

One day he may be a father himself, then perhaps he will know the pain of just being away from his child for the shortest period. He will also think back how I loved him, the memories which some have tried to erase, reading his bed time stories to him, playing in the garden, going crazy golfing, the cinema, the theatre. The most important thing you can ever give your child in your time and he always had mine and always will.

 Parental alienation is more common than ever these days, but yet it not being handled by the family courts efficiently or in a timely manner. This is gradually changing. Already Cafcass, who do child reports for the courts in England have spoken out and described it as emotional child abuse, as damaging and often more so than physical child abuse.
There are plenty of papers publish by child physiologist which can be read on the internet about the damaging effect this has on children, more are getting published every week, more people are slowly understanding this.

 The tide is changing very slowly; social acceptance is changing. once upon a time a drink driving was although not endorsed by society it was often laughed off as silliness but now it is severely considered as very dangerous and a serious offence by society and rightly so, the same sample can be used about texting or talking on the phone whilst driving, over time parental alienation will be considered the same and the alienators will be identified as child abusers and rightly so…but alas like all changes of public perception this is happening very slowly and the UK is still lagging behind other countries such as Italy and Mexico where if a parent stops another parent seeing their child then they go to jail….simples!!

 I can only wish my son Sam the very best birthday from a distance, but my love never dilutes, I never give up, being a father is what I am proudest of in this world and what I am best at, I would walk through fire for him, love is an overused word in this world but it does not nearly go far enough to describe how I feel about my son. The only people who can ever underestimate this is people who don’t know real love, some people think they know but they dont. That moment when Sam held my finger a couple of hours after he was born, that was my heart committed for life, I never let go, I never will!