Religion

I have been posting on FB quite a lot recently which may seem anti-religious although I would like to think it’s more a challenge to faith. I hold to no religious doctrine religion is something I really feel should not be “ring fenced” and not open to question. If you ask a Christian to describe God he will make him out to be a kind, merciful omniscience and omnipresence celestial being who watches over his flock….but my argument is he is not!!! By any description you can find in the bible. God has killed more people (well a larger percentage of the population at the time as written in the bible) than Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin or Ghengis Khan surely he should be held accountable and at least be brought to trail, a kind of Nuremberg type trial perhaps or has he already done a runner, the absent landlord that friedrich nietzsche mentioned? I think there is enough collaboration and written evidence in the bible. This is a Christian country (well supposedly but that's perhaps a post for another time but yet this is the same God as other faiths at least up to a point) so we people do believe this sky fairy is real so I call for him to answer for his crimes on humanity. But of course I don’t believe in this fictional character so how can he possibly be answerable for his crimes, and as a fictional character would deserve blame as much a Willie Wonker to blame for Augustus Gloop falling in the chocolate river. Now religion I know is not the root of all evil but it is the cause of much. Let me give you an example (and a url to read http://www.americancatholic.org/News/StemCell/ ) This is mostly about the Catholic churches view but is shared to certain degrees by most religions (I dislike all religions so not picking on one or favouring another) Basically as you can read from American Catholic new (and pope’s speeches) they want to ban embryonic stem-cell research which could offer therapeutic break throughs for every injury and disease that a human can suffer including cancer. Yes it means the destruction of a three day old human embryo which has a collection of about 150 cells but let's put this in perspective...the brain of a fly has 100,000 cells. If the excuse is that a human cell has the potential of being a fully developed human-being then every time you scratch your nose you commit a holocaust of potential human beings. Now lets consider that every three day old human embryo has a soul which many religious groups will have you believe and these souls are worthy of our moral concern. Embryos at this stage occasionally split becoming two separate people (identical twins) so is this a case of one soul becoming two? Two embryos sometimes fuse in to a single individual (google chimera) what becomes of the extra human soul in this case? My argument here is that the naive idea of souls in a Petri dish is intellectually indefensible. Where is the morals when you try to ban this research thus prolonging the possible misery of tens of millions of fellow humans. Religious metaphysics which gives a clump of cells in a dish rights which supersede the interests of a child with a spinal cord injury. Even the catholic Vatican being opposed to condoms even to prevent the spread of AIDS (I know this has changed slight since but the damage has been done) Opposing abortions is a world where millions of little babies die of malnutrition or even in some cases by the deliberate will of Mothers. It’s not all Catholics, I am not pointing my finger at any single interpretation of this book of fiction, Protestants are just as bad, burning abortion clinics and killing doctors!! In El Salvador abortion is illegal under any means and all circumstances. There is no exceptions for rape or incest! Woman there are now serving 30 year jail sentences for terminating pregnancies. Now imagine this is a country that also stigmatizes the use of contraception as a sin against God!! Read about the Vatican perpetuating the “blood libel” against Jews in its newpapers as late as 1914. Both Catholics and Protestant churches have a shameful record of complicity with the Nazi genocide. Now what about Islam? Lots being said about Islam these days, people claiming it's a religion of peace hijacked by extremists. Well I don't follow any religion, they are all dangerous in my eyes but none more so than Islam. These so called extremists are seeking to implement what is arguably the most honest reading of the Koran and it's faiths actual doctrine. If you are going to try and convince me it's a peaceful religion then try convincing me that Jihad is an inner spiritual struggle ....it's a doctrine of holy war. This is a religion which has not evolved. Changes need to come from within. Oh I agree there are peaceful practicing Muslims but let me also point you towards a Muslim public opinion poll conducted in 11 Muslim majority countries (2013 PEW poll) asking if it's OK to use suicide bombing against non-combatants in defence of Islam. 16% in turkey agreed that it's justified, 33% in Lebanon, 25% Egypt, 62% in Palestinian Territories, only 3% in Pakistan (still 3% too high) Not all Muslims are terrorists,( I wish people would stop posting pictures with such captions as if to prove this point on social media sites such as Facebook, it really is an insult to our intelligence.) My points is that Islam is very dangerous,and an alarmingly high proportion of terrorists are Muslims. One such danger of Islam is that in other religions (mostly and generally) when someone are paranoid, depressed or deeply devoted they don't butcher fellow humans whilst shouting religious slogans whereas such a person with such mental problems who is in regular touch with a jihadist "spiritual leader" has already got his ready-made script to offer him paradise in exchange for homicide. I can respect people wanting to follow a faith but I respect human life much more and we can't just turn around and say it's just a few bad apples, read about the London bombers, these were well educated men, how many more people will die in this game of interpretation of my imaginary God is better than yours? Islam is the most dangerous but imho the world would be a better place without religion, and if you think we need religion to keep people in check or murder and mayhem would rule then it worries me your lack of "faith" in humanity that you think people need the "cctv" omnipresence to not commit evil. if asked who we think is the biggest murder in fiction I wonder who you would say? It appears it's a fictional character called God from a fictional book called the bible. Why do people revere the bible so much and present it to our children? The first suicide terrorist? Samson, his little rampage of strength cause the death of 3000 civilian men and women. Do you want to hear the score of deaths caused by God in the bible? The estimated total is around 25 million, now Satan only has credit for around 60 deaths. Oh god loves to kill children too, remember how he "smote all the first borns in the land of Egypt"? Or him sending two bears to "rip apart" 42 children who made fun of a guys bald head? What about 2 Samuel 12 14-18 where God slowly kills a baby having him suffer for 7 days? Back again to 2nd Samuel, 18.27, read how David bought a wife with 200 philistine foreskins (not on eBay), a charming bedtime story for your little ones as they are safely tucked up in bed (did you remember to paint a cross on your door with lambs blood, don't want the Angel of death visiting you tonight) If you do believe the bible to be the true word of a true God then why do you get down on your knees and worship such a bloodthirsty murder? Fear? Then you learn your children to fear this same monster!! The true story of Moses, that nice man we teach our children about from a young age. Visualize Moses, a righteous man (according to the Bible, in spite of his lies, deceptions, and acts of violence, not to mention his incredible stupidity as it took him forty years to move his people a couple of hundred miles from Egypt into Israel), and then visualize his troops at his direct command killing babies. I mean real, live babies in their mother's arms. I mean small children, trying to hide behind the safety of their parent's legs even as that parent is gutted. I mean little boys feeling their life flow out of them through a hole that passes through their lungs even as your murderer strips your sister and investigates with a still-bloody finger whether or not she is a virgin, then raping her (either way) before your dying eyes....how explain to me how I should really take this in context! We wrap this horror story up in pretty colours and tell the tales to children in primary schools. Religions...all should be purged from this world!!! Good religious people are dying from cancer this very moment, many of them wee children. It's strange such a loving omniscience God left instructions in his big bible about keeping slaves, stoning adulterous wives and sacrificing a wide variety of animals yet nothing about little children dying of bone cancer! Do you want to get down on your knees to prey to a God that invented such delights as bone cancer in children?? I don’t and that’s why I advocate Secular Humanism, I believe is what can be proved, I believe in people, I believe when catatrophy happens we should not waste time on prayer….we should help each other, donate blood,organs when we die, share resources and work at being the species which me are , believe what you see through the hubble telescope and believe in science and not look through the pages of an antiquated book for strength or wait for a burning bush!

Happy Birthday to my son Sam

Happy Birthday Sam

My little monkey is 12 today, so proud of you Sam. Although I can’t see you on your birthday today I have baked you a cake, its Raspberry and lemon, butter cream filling and sugar paste covering with I have made blue. Your name is on it although my writing on the cake is not very good the cake will be delicious. I will take it to work tomorrow for my colleagues to have a slice and wish you happy birthday.

This time 12 years ago I remember well, visiting that little baby birdie which fell out of a nest in neonatal ward, cause that’s what you looked like but now you are a big strapping 12 year old who loves reading like me and is good at football which is not like me but I did enjoy rugby which I think you would also be wonderful at Sam. Love you son, have an amazing birthday xxx

Autumn interior painting

Some painting is the name of the game today, giving the stairs a glossing over. Painted the my bedroom a nice Mulberry Burst, Sam’s room now has a warm lavender feature wall and still considering which colour the paint the spare bedroom, perhaps a nice warm apricot.

New spotlights to go up...

Doing the steps to the upstairs bedrooms black and white like the keys on a piano. A few new paintings on the walls to brighten the place up, new speakers downstairs and some more bookcases ….hoping to get done by this weekend….ah well, better get back at it.

To Be or Not To Be

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life; William Shakespeare - To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1) To be or not to be’ is the most famous words in the works of Shakespeare – probably, even perhaps the most famous anywhere. That is partly because the opening words are so interesting, memorable and intriguing but also because Shakespeare ranges around several cultures and practices to borrow the language for his images, and because he’s dealing here with profound concepts, putting complex philosophical ideas into the mouth of a character on a stage, communicating with an audience with a wide range of educational levels. The question for him was whether to continue to exist or not – whether it was more noble to suffer the slings and arrows of an unbearable situation, or to declare war on the sea of troubles that afflict one, and by opposing them, end them. To die. He pondered the prospect. To sleep – as simple as that. And with that sleep we end the heartaches and the thousand natural miseries that human beings have to endure. It’s an end that we would all ardently hope for. To die. To sleep. To sleep. Perhaps to dream. Yes, that was the problem, because in that sleep of death the dreams we might have when we have shed this mortal body must make us pause. That’s the consideration that creates the calamity of such a long life. Because, who would tolerate the whips and scorns of time; the tyrant’s offences against us; the contempt of proud men; the pain of rejected love; the insolence of officious authority; and the advantage that the worst people take of the best, when one could just release oneself with a naked blade? Who would carry this load, sweating and grunting under the burden of a weary life if it weren’t for the dread of the after life – that unexplored country from whose border no traveller returns? That’s the thing that confounds us and makes us put up with those evils that we know rather than hurry to others that we don’t know about. So thinking about it makes cowards of us all, and it follows that the first impulse to end our life is obscured by reflecting on it. And great and important plans are diluted to the point where we don’t do anything Very important words and thoughts to think about. Do you really think you have not been exposed to this? Even my son was from an early age (about 8) as the storyline of Disney film The Lion King is based on Hamlet so there you have it!!! One of my favorite books takes its name from above (what dreams may come by Richard Matheson) We all have trails and tribulations in our lives, it’s a regular rollercoster of a ride. Living can sometimes feel in effect, a kind of slow death, a submission to fortune's power. On the other hand, death is initiated by a life of action, rushing armed against a sea of troubles—a pretty hopeless project, if you think about it, well I don’t mean to the death of course but we must face our problems head on, fight for what is important in this life…whether its love, contact with your child, personal battles, we still must muster and march on forth. TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM…. Hamlet tries to take comfort in the idea that death is really "no more" than a kind of sleep, with the advantage of one's never having to get up in the morning. Do we really want to give in to outrageous fortunes in this modern world? No…we must never give in, always focus on it bigger picture but approach it with baby steps. Is it better to suffer the various ways in which it sucks to be alive, or to kill yourself? I am using the term “kill yourself” not in the hanging yourself from the rafters meaning but to simply give up and give in to what life throws at you, we can endure much more that we think we can and up with soak it up we can come out stronger in the end. various ways in which life sucks: the oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely (humiliation), the pangs of despised love [love’s rejection or realisation ], the law's delay, missing your child, fearing false gossip, the slow deterioration on dementia of a beloved mother…etc, etc, etc… These are the slings and arrows that fortune outrageously flings at you: annoying, but not immediately fatal. Only in aggregate are they possibly going to eventually end you but don’t allow them to accumulate, search out the good and fight against the bad and unjust, speak out about your fears and don’t be afraid to call out love when you see it. Strength is born from within, never forget.

Open Letter to Sam

Well here it is…..Post number 100, what can I write about for the number which follows 99 and precedes 101? An Open Letter to my Son Sam who is currently 11 years old as I write this tonight (27th Oct 2015) and will be 12 on November the 5th. This post may not be of any interest to the vast majority but then I don’t do these blogs for others, I do this cause I enjoy it and if my son is to read this tomorrow, the next day, next year or 10 years in the future if this humble “outpour” is still online then good. It’s a virtual message in a bottle drifting along the flow of the internet and may be of interest (hopefully not of embarrassment) if he were to google my name and read my rants and ravings.

Dear Sam, A friend once told me, many years ago before you were born. He said that when you become a father it brings out emotions in you that you never knew existed. Feelings and fears you did not know where possible. I could believe this but never appreciated it until you were born on the 5th of November 2003, I will also add joy and pride to that list too Sam, cause I have never been happier since you came into my life and could never been more prouder of you my son.

You were born extremely premature. Born at 28 weeks with 25 weeks growth your birth weight was only 1lbs 9ozs which later dropped to 1lbs 7ozs. It was just have 3pm on a Wednesday afternoon when Dr Paul Holmes delivered you into this world and changed my life for the better. There was a radio playing that afternoon in the delivery room and the song was Robbie Williams singing “Millennium”, I remember it as if it was just yesterday. Then I heard what I thought was a little bird chirping but was actually your little cries. I then could hear the nurses counting up to ten twice, which I just knew was them counting your little toes and fingers, then I had just a fleeting glimpse as they wheeled you past in the incubator towards the neonatal ward, they placed a little blue woolly hat on your head to help keep you warm, you were (are) perfect. I had to wait 3 long hours before I could come into the neonatal ward to see you, they had to settle you there first before I could join you. These were the longest hours of my life!! The doctors spoke to me and tried to prepare me for the worst, they said they could only give a 10 percent odds of your surviving as you were so tiny but even then I just knew you would survive, get stronger, get better and I never gave up, just as I will never ever give up on you now son, or ever. When I finally got to see you in the ward, inside your little incubator you were tinny tiny, you looked like a little baby bird who fell out of the nest, you lay on top of the smallest nappy as there was not one small enough to fit you. You had these little black eyes as you were so premature they were not fully developed yet. I put my hand into the incubator and cupped your tiny head, I touched your little hand and you grabbed my finger, the first time I held my son’s hand, a moment so precious to me it still warms my heart to its core thinking about that moment to this day.

I am so very proud of you Sam, I remember when I taught you to swim, you were so brave, it was so easy to learn you, you took to the water like a little fish and soon you had no need for the inflatable arm bands. When I put you to bed at night I read you stories, your favourites were by David Walliams and Roald Dahl. You took such delight listening and following the words on the page, correcting me if I was to miss any words. Keep reading Sam, both fiction and non-fiction. Always have a thirst for knowledge, never just accept what you hear. Always look for proof, for evidence, see, hear, smell and feel, never just accept without question, whatever conclusions you come to, however you lead your life, beliefs, politics, loves and careers I will always give you my unconditional love and support my son, always. Speak the truth Sam, never lie, be brave and don’t follow the flock, think for yourself and stand up and speak out. Never allow an injustice to pass when you know there is something you can do about it. Never take advantage of the weak or allow anyone to take advantage of you but help others who need your help, protect the vulnerable from those who would prey upon them. Never fear to stand up and be counted, think with your head and follow your heart, never allow love to pass you without making it know, don’t fear rejection, just don’t hide your feelings or you will forever regret that you never tried to pick that moment when it was ripe, it may not be reciprocated but it’s a deep sorrow not to try, try your best, if you feel love then don’t shy away from it, make the other person aware …life is too short, fight for that love but know when to accept if it’s not to be and always be a gentleman and hold your head up high, there is never any shame to talk with your heart when its sincere.

I spoke to your teachers about the “blue eye / brown eye” experiment, I am very proud of you Sam, we are all brothers and sisters on this tiny planet orbiting its insignificant star, we need to celebrate our diversities and not find reason to hate. Never hate Sam, it will destroy you, only love but know when to walk away. Don’t regret the past, only learn the lessons it gives and use to improve your future, every day is a school day. You are a unique person Sam, one size does not fit all, just always be yourself and never compromise your personality. Only try to be the very best person which you can. Respect others and value friendship, don’t judge or talk bad about others. Always have a goal to strive towards.

Never accept a pre-cooked packet of beliefs, question everything son. Don’t shut your mind to doubts. Never harm others in your own endeavour to make a meaningful life but also don’t allow others to hold you back If there is a single question taken to be the ultimate philosophical question, it is: What is the meaning of life? The answer I have (in my opinion) for you is the meaning of your life is the meaning you give it. It consists in what you create through the identification and pursuit of endeavours that your talents fit you for and your interests draw you to. Together with the relationships you form in the process. First and foremost, good relationships give meaning to life, so does worthwhile goals; so do pleasure and enjoyment; so do respect and friendship, both given and received in the course of endeavour. Life can thus be very rich in meaning. Reread this Sam, depending on when you read this study and learn any new words you don’t yet understand, this statement is very important. You will make mistake, just like me but learn from them to become stronger. Life can be like a false spring Sam, the sun shines, it is warm, crocuses and daffodils bloom then suddenly it gets freezing and wet again but never allow disappointments to keep you down, hope is the reason we always continue and you will always have my love and support my son, always and without conditions. Hope was the last creature who flew out of Pandora’s box (Greek mythology, please read about this Sam, such things are important to modern thinking and enriching) there is always hope and that sustains us, that and love. I love you son, I am so proud of you and you will always be the very best of me and always have my full support and love with wherever you go in life. Daddy xxx (below is a picture of me in between your Grandparents)

(below is a picture of Dr Paul Holmes who delivered you Sam, I am so very thankful to this man)

27th October

October is almost at an end. The leaves are certainly falling from the trees now, across the road from my bedroom window I can see the big oaks shedding their load, the fruit trees in my garden will soon be bare and just last week I collected the apples from them. October is the tenth month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar , but it’s the eighth in the Roman Calendar. October retained its name from the Latin octō meaning "eight" which brings me nicely on to a book I have recently read. “The soul of an Octopus” by Sy Montgomery is a very interesting read. I have always been fascinated with marine life and none more so than the startlingly strange Octopuses which would not look out of place in sci-fi movies about aliens. They can grow to over 100 pounds in weight and stretch more than 8 feet long yet still can squeeze their boneless bodies through an opening the size of an orange. They have a beak like a parrot, some have venom like a snake and a tongue covered with teeth, they can change colour and squirt ink and are remarkably intelligent. They have their own personalities and can solve the most complex puzzles to gain food or to escape. Being invertebrate animals with brains that are very different from ours but still with amazing intelligence and emotions. It’s a very sad story of a short octopus life (about 4 years). It makes you realise that just because not all creatures look like human beings it does not mean that they do not possess a soul or feel pain or have feelings, it is a case that us mere humans no nothing at all about the creatures we share the earth with, only that we can kill them and eat them. Nature is red in tooth and claw and we are after all just animals and part of nature too.

Last month I went to The Playhouse in Edinburgh to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels the musical. (I missed it in London last year) Like so many musicals these days, the show is based on a film. It was really fun, it is a highly entertaining show, rather than a great one, that is largely because the songs by David Yazbek are largely a pastiche of a wide variety of styles ranging from Oklahoma hoedown to big power ballads and French chanson. The effect is witty, and the lyrics are sharp. The action is set on the French Riviera, where a debonair English con man masquerading as a disinherited prince seduces unattached ladies and persuades them to part with their cash. He has the local police chief in his pocket and all is going well, until a rival con man arrives in town, and threatens to queer his lucrative pitch. I got a good view from seats in the stalls down the front, an enjoyable evening.

I also saw Aldous Huxley’s a Brave New World at the Kings Theatre in Edinburgh too last month. Its also was really good and food for thought. It was clever how they casted the audience as new recruits at the London Hatchery, where future citizens are named after Greek alphabet letters and designed to specification. Lowly sewer workers are clones with no sense of smell; Alphas are all good-looking; Betas are engineered with sufficient intelligence to do their job, but not enough to question the system.

Put my baking skills to the test recently by baking a Lemon and Raspberry cake, I won’t hit you with every step, if you want the recipe you can find it in The Clandestine Cake Club cookbook by Lynn Hill. It was delicious with 200 grams of fresh raspberries, lemon zest, butter cream filling and icing sugar.

Here's a wee idea for schools in Scotland...I think alternate maps with the South Pole at the top should be added to school walls to stop northern hemisphere chauvinism! Then children will be reminded that "North" is an arbitrary polarity which does not always mean up! A very good conscious raiser!!

7-10 years for a New Me

Think of an experience from your childhood, something you remember clearly, a smell or a touch, something you saw. Now for the bombshell....you weren't there, not one single atom that's in your body was there during that event ....that really makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up!!! We are but memories so create some good ones folks. Matter flows from one place to another and momentary comes together to be the person you are. The little red haired boy I was at primary school has been scattered to the wind and the atomic makeup has been scattered to the wind 2 or 3 times since then, only the DNA time stamp remains.

According to researchers, the body replaces itself with a largely new set of cells every seven years to 10 years, and some of our most important parts are revamped even more rapidly In the early '50s, researchers discovered the body's rejuvenating power by feeding and injecting subjects with radioactive atoms and observing their movement. They found that, on average, 98 percent of the atoms inside the body – the smallest units of matter, which form the molecules that help comprise bodily cells – are replaced each year. Most new atoms are taken in through the good Scottish air we breathe, the food we eat and the liquids we drink. More than five decades later, Swedish molecular biologist Dr. Jonas Frisen studied body tissue renewal by measuring levels of a radioactive material called carbon-14. This material was released in the air before testing nuclear weapons aboveground was banned in 1963. Carbon-14 is breathed in by plants, which humans and animals eat every day, and is part of our DNA. But unlike other atoms and molecules that are constantly changing, a person's DNA remains the same from the day of a cell's birth – which occurs when a parent cell divides – throughout its life span. When a cell divides, in other words, the DNA incorporated in the new cell includes a certain level of carbon-14 that corresponds to the level of the material in the air around us at the time. This serves as a time stamp of sorts, by which researchers can determine when the cell was created based on the level of carbon-14 in its DNA

What Frisen found is that the body's cells largely replace themselves every 7 to 10 years. In other words, old cells mostly die and are replaced by new ones during this time span. The cell renewal process happens more quickly in certain parts of the body, but head-to-toe rejuvenation can take up to a decade or so. If you think of what age you have “out grown” an allergy it (well at least in my case) always appears to be dividable by 7. That explains why our skin flakes off, our nails grow and our hair falls out. But if we are constantly being filled with brand-spanking-new cells, why is it that the body grows old? When it comes to aging, it appears that the secret lies not in our cells but, more specifically, in the cellular DNA

Thought for tonight on a melancholy evening

Thought for tonight on a melancholy evening, sponsored by Laphroaig cask strength single malt and brought to you from under the warmth of a heated faux fur throw in a house in Falkirk ...How lucky we are to be alive, given that the vast majority of people who could be thrown up by the combination lottery of DNA will in fact never be born. Try imagining the relative brevity of life by imagining a laser-thin spotlight creeping along a gigantic ruler (the old wooden type we had at school) of time. Everything before or after that spotlight is shrouded in the darkness of the dead past, or the darkness of the unknown future. We are staggeringly lucky to find ourself in the spotlight however brief our time is under the sun. If we waste a second of it, or complain it is dull or like a child say it is boring then this is a callous insult to those unborn trillions who will never even be offered life in the first place. Mark Twain once famously wrote.."I do not fear death, I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and I had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it" His words are very true, being dead will be no different from being unborn, I will just be as I was during the time of Willian Wallace, the dinosaurs or the trilobites. I believe I will rot and nothing of my ego will remain, I am 43, I love life, I love my son, I love the natural wonderment of looking outside my window onto my garden when the sun is shinning or listening to the rain pattering against my window when I try to sleep. But should I shiver with terror at the thought of annihilation? Oh yes, I fear the pain and unpleasantness depending on the luck of my departure, I fear forgetting the names of the ones I love and have loved as I have seem from visiting my mother who suffers from dementia, the same woman who I would run to as a child when I fell grazing my knee knowing that the only cure to offset my tears would be her kiss to make it better. The smell of my baby Sam and the sight of his eyes filling with tears when crying and the excitement on his little face on Christmas morning when he walked in to see Santa had left him his desired tinytykes climbing car. I remember being in love, the spring in my step, that walking on clouds feeling and how every sight seen seemed to continue into infinity and how inspired I would write words for my muse, I remember heartbreak, how hollow my heart felt and how I struggled for breath. I remember my Dad, his big callused hands which would pick me up and throw me onto his shoulders, the smell of old spice aftershave on his neck and the little pieces of news print on his chin were he cut himself shaving. I remember my older brother, how he use to pick me up upon returning from his work wearing blue overalls and the view of the curls on top of his head as he hurled me around the room up light like a aeroplane to my shrieks of joy...such memories now in the past and never to be repeated. On some aspects it sucks being born Homo sapien (ignore this statement if you live in Switzerland or the Netherlands or some other enlightened place not cursed by the influence of religion) I see death as terminal not transitional, if you believe you have but once life you tend to appreciate it more and not require any moral compass to know how to lead your "midgie fart existence in the grand scale of things" to its fullest.

Coffee Cake

One of my favourite cakes are coffee cakes, I love the icing and they are so versatile, you can add walnuts or pecans, use the mixture for cup-cakes adding a pecan to each one, put colourful icing around it and make it into a birthday cake or put white icing on the top with coco sprinkles and make a cappuccino cake.

Jamie Oliver uses espresso and almonds, Merry Berry uses muscovado sugar and has 4 layers, I initially used a recipe from "the great british book of baking" which accompanies a old series of the great british bake off but I choose to add just a little bit veggie oil as it makes it moister. Firstly for the coffee icing which I also use for the filling... 125g unsalted butter 300g icing sugar 3-4 (depending how strong you want it) tablespoons of coffee granules dissolved in a little boiling water 5 tablespoons of double cream Heat the butter in a pan until it starts to bubble and turns light brown, pour the hot butter on the (sifted) icing sugar then quickly add the dissolved coffee and cream, beat well until very smooth then stick in the fridge to set. The sponge is much a normal sponge mix but with some dissolved coffee again. 175g unsalted butter 175g caster sugar 3 eggs at room temperature 175g self-raising flour ½ teaspoon baking powder 1-3 (depending how strong you want it) tablespoons of coffee granules dissolved in a little boiling water 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil (add some pecan or walnut pieces if you like but chop small so does not sink to the bottom of the mix) Put sugar and softened butter into a bowl, use an electric whisk or wooden spoon light and creamy. slowly mix in the eggs then the flour, baking powder and dissolved coffee. Ensure all is combined well scraping any flour down from the sides of the bowl.

Divide mixture evenly into 2 21cm baking tins. Place in pre-heated oven (180/350/gas mark4) for 20 to 25 mins until golden brown and springy to touch. Remove from tins and allow to completely cool on a wire rack before spreading with the filling and icing then customising as you wish.

below is an example of one I made for a friend's birthday with pink filling and icing around it....

The Greatest Speech Ever

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible- Jew, Gentile, black men, white… We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others’ happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men’s souls; has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery ,we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say “Do not despair.” The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. Soldiers! Don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder! Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men—machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have a love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it’s written “the kingdom of God is within man”, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill their promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Falkirk Fish Pie

For my fish pie I have used Paul Hollywood’s recipe for his luxury fish pie with saffron mash….it really was very nice. “A good fish pie, I think, always needs some smoked fish - or shellfish - to give it a real depth of flavour and what could be more luxurious than smoked Scottish langoustines? If you can't get hold of any, use giant tiger prawns instead, and replace half the plain haddock with smoked haddock.”

For the poaching stock 600ml fish stock 600ml water 50ml Pernod 1 small onion 1 small fennel bulb, roughly chopped 2 celery sticks 1 bay leaf Few parsley sprigs For the filling 500g haddock fillet (or other white fish of your choice), skinned 250g salmon fillet, skinned 250g langoustine tails (I used prawns)

For the saffron mash 1.5kg floury potatoes, such as King Edward (I used mackies), peeled and cut into chunks 100ml double cream Good pinch of saffron strands (the saffron really makes a difference, I am luck I have a friend who gave me lots of saffron so I was able to add a generous pinch to the mash) 50g unsalted butter

For the sauce 40g unsalted butter 40g plain flour 300ml reserved poaching stock 100ml double cream 2 tbsp chopped tarragon

Salt and pepper haddock with smoked haddock (I also used Salmon and king prawns too) 1. Heat your oven to 200°C/gas 6. Have ready a large ovenproof dish, 1.5-2 litres capacity. 2. Place all ingredients for the poaching stock in a large pan and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer and add the haddock and salmon. Poach the fish for a few minutes, until it is just cooked. Strain the mixture, reserving all the liquid. Pick out and discard the stock vegetables. Leave the fish to cool. 3. Put the poaching liquid into a clean pan. Bring to the boil, and boil until the liquid has reduced by half. You will need 400ml of this reduced liquor. Set aside. 4. For the saffron mash, put the potatoes in a large suacepan, cover with cold water, add a little salt and bring to the boil. Lower the heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes, until tender. 5. Meanwhile, to make the sauce, melt the butter in a pan. Stir in the flour to form a roux. Let this cook over a medium heat, stirring often, for 2-3 minutes. Turn the heat down very low and gradually add the reduced poaching liquid, a ladleful at a time, beating well after each addition to create a smooth sauce. Return to the heat and cook, stirring often, for about 5 minutes. Stir in the cream, tarragon and some salt and pepper. 6. Drain the potatoes well. Heat the cream, saffron and butter gently in the potato pan, until the butter has melted, then take off the heat and pass the potatoes through a ricer into the pan (or just tip them in and mash). Season well with salt and pepper and stir to combine. 7. Flake the cooked fish evenly over the base of your oven proofdish, checking for any bones as you go. Scatter over the langoustines. Pour over the sauce. Top with the mash, spread it evenly and then mark decoratively with a fork.

8. Bake for 25-30 minutes until golden brown on top and bubbling all the way through. If your assembled pie has cooled down, it may take longer.

Parmo (falkirk style)

Parmo, or Parmesan, a breaded cutlet dish originating in Middlesbrough, is popular in the North East of England. Similar to a schnitzel, it typically consists of deep-fried chicken in bread crumbs topped with a white béchamel sauce and cheese

Its easy enough to make… For the béchamel sauce: 5 tbsp butter 4 tbsp all-purpose flour 1l (1¾ pints) milk ½ tsp freshly grated nutmeg

4 chicken fillets 1 egg 150g (5½oz) breadcrumbs approx 1.5l (2¾ pints) vegetable oil, for frying 110g (4oz) cheddar cheese (I used red leister for mine)

In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over a low heat. Add the flour and stir continuously until smooth. Heat the milk in a separate pan until it is just about to boil. Gradually add this to the butter and flour mixture, whisking continuously until very smooth. Bring to a simmer, lower the heat and cook for 10 minutes, stirring constantly, then remove from heat. Season with 2 tsp salt and the nutmeg Pound the chicken fillets between two sheets of greaseproof paper until they are flat and thin. Beat the egg in a shallow bowl. Season the breadcrumbs and pour on to a large plate. Coat the fillets with the egg, then dip into the crumbs, covering them evenly. Heat the vegetable oil in a large saucepan or deep frying-pan to 160°C and deep-fry the chicken fillets until they have turned golden brown. Leave to drain on some kitchen paper.

To serve, pour the béchamel sauce over the chicken fillets then sprinkle over the cheese. Place under a medium grill until the cheese has melted.