3rd June 2015

Monday was the start of our Meteorological summer in Scotland and the rest of the northern hemisphere as I understand it. But you would never guess this by looking outside. We are still experiencing 4 seasons in a day. Rocky my African Grey parrot has recently turned 3 years old (from his hatch day) and is becoming increasingly “cuddly” in the evening even lying on his back on my lap when I’m the sofa watching the TV wanting his underwings tickled. He is great company for someone living alone, now that I have the entry back of my house sealed from access from the driveway (and secured with alarm and motion detector cameras and lights which I don’t want to discuss too much for obvious reasons but it would be like mission impossible to get into my back garden now) I leave the rear window blinds up and curtains open and Rocky loves watching the sunset from his roosting perch before settling for the night (weird Waltons image there)

As many of my close friends know, my Mum who will turn 86 this month is now in a Bupa Nursing home. It was an extremely hard decision to make as her wish was always to stay in her own home to see out her years, this she could manage with support due to her mobility problems the then dementia started taking hold a couple of years ago and now she really needs around the clock care. It’s very hard as every time I visit her she starts off by saying the same questions “why does your dad and brother not come to see me?” both of whom died many years ago. Then she asks if her parents are still alive but they died over 50 years ago before I was born then my mum gets upset because she thinks she was not there with them when they died but I try to explain the truth which was that she nursed them at home until their time came, something I wished previously I could do with my mum but due to other commitments and reasons I could not. …But….my fears about a nursing home are unfounded, she is enjoying the constant company, the gossip and the goings on some of which she discusses with me thinking she works there (she was a nurse before she retired) Every day when I visit her she is in the communal area with the TV on surrounds with her “pals” and endless cups of tea. Sometimes on “good days” she talks to me about a “date” she had the night before with a man who came up from London during leave from the Army, I know this man she is referring to was my date and this “date” was over 60 years ago but she talks about it with such clarity and she gets excited about meeting him again and the letter he sent her. She talks and remembers about this as if it was yesterday, sometimes these diseases of the mind have a silver lining, a little happy bubble. She talks about her dancing shoes and how her new man has a motorbike and sidecar, this was the man she went on to marry and love and who was my dad, for my mum to relive these happy moments of courtship with my dad in her mind as if it were yesterday is such a blessing. The Apple and pear trees are flowering in the garden this year but still too young for a bumper crop and about given up on the cherry and apricot trees.

As people know… I have a huge love of ice cream….gimmme gimmmme gimmmmme

I churned some malteaser and peppermint with double cream last week which was just bliss!!!!!

Last week I paid a visit to Camelon cemetery, a laid some red roses at a memorial for sadly departed babies, still born and little souls who never had a chance to shine. Luckily my little boy Sam survived against the odds and is the blessing which he is to me now but Sam could have had a little sister 7 years ago but it was not meant to be.

I won’t dwell in detail on this except there may have been a little Shannon soon to start primary 2, a loved daughter and sister. I will always feel her absence and never forget. It’s an extremely sad spot tucked away in the cemetery, quiet and reflective, reading the little silver plates with names and dates of birth or in some case due dates of birth its easy to spring tears but also thank your blessings for what you have.