Kid's Gangs

Although I am a bit too old to start my own "Kid's Gang" this maybe of importance to my son in the future so I better publish this just in case.

Kid gangs come in many forms and there are many reasons that you might need to start a kid gang. If monsters are invading your town, form a kid gang. If you are a member of a sports team who against-all-odds has to win the championship this year, you’d better have a kid gang. To be a successful kid gang, you have to have the right kind of talent. To understand the list of the prerequisite roles you’ll need to form your own kid gang, we look to the greatest kid gang of all time: The Goonies.

Michael “Mikey” Walsh: The Leader

Every group needs a leader, and Mikey is the unofficial captain of the Goonies. Like any good leader, he knows the strengths and weaknesses of his friends, from asking Data for a flashlight to handing Chunk the frame that contains the map.The leader of a kid gang must be someone others look to for answers and direction, someone who can give inspiring speeches when the gang is thinking about quitting. Also see Gordie Lachancein Stand By Me.

Clark “Mouth” Devereaux: The Loudmouth
No kid gang is complete without a loudmouth, obnoxious slickster. Mouth, as denoted by his nickname, plays his role superbly. He possesses the boldness that is required to lie directly to parents or the authorities. Also see Teddy Duchamp in Stand By Me.

 Richard “Data” Wang: The Brain

On more than one occasion Data’s contraptions saved the day. Pinchers of Power™, Slick Shoes™, the Threat-Alerted Boxing Glove all worked when it mattered. You’ll never achieve your goal without gadgetry. What would James Bond be without Q? Also good to have a “Minority” in the game, also see Token in Southpark: Bigger, Longer & Uncut or Lewis in The Simpsons Movie.

Lawrence “Chunk” Cohen: The Fat Kid

What do you get when you combine being overweight and clumsy? Comic relief! Whether it’s the Truffle Shuffle or a simple splitting of the pants,your kid gang will need a fat kid. Also, the clumsiness proved to be beneficial in more than one occasion. Also see Eric Cartman in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Ralph Wiggum in The Simpsons Movie and Vern Tessio in Stand By Me.

Brandon “Brand” Walsh: The Big Brother

Brand didn’t want to spend his day chasing his brother around town; he had a date with Andy. But all kid gangs need a keeper–some older brother type who is charged with the duty of keeping his sibling and friends in line. Also see Chris Chambers in Stand By Me

Lotney “Sloth” Fratelli: The Monster

Hidden in a dark and dreary basement is a monster who, after a couple candy bars and some ice cream, becomes the gang’s greatest friend. The once mysterious beast turns out to be generally misunderstood and becomes a member of the gang, a mascot. Also see Satan in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut and Ray Brower “The Body” in Stand By Me.

The Fratellis: The Evil Gang

Dressed in black and led by the crackling voice of Ma Fratelli, this evil gang devises a plan to go after the Goonies and steal the rich stuff right out of their hands (or in some cases, a mouth). And they would have gotten away with it too, had it not been for these meddling kids! Also see Ace Merril & His Gang in Stand By Me, Vampires Led by Max & David in The Lost Boys, M.A.C. “Mothers Against Canada” in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut and The Environmental Protection Agency in The Simpsons Movie.